Leaving Checklist

The Leaving Checklist is a list of things to prepare and things to consider before, during and after separating from a person who suffers from a personality disorder.


  1. Start a private bank account in a bank that your SO doesn't use and put money in it.
  2. Rent a post office box and forward your mail to it.
  3. Have a safe place to stay, preferably where your partner won't easily find you.
  4. Reconnect with responsible and supportive friends and family who were pushed away during your relationship with your partner.
  5. Make copies of important documents that you will need:
    - Bank/Credit Card records
    - Telephone records
    - past tax return copies, bills, financial records etc.
    - educational and medical records for the children
  6. Put the following in a secure location:
    - your credit/debit/atm cards
    - wedding/birth certificates,
    - passports
    - photographs and family treasures that you want to keep
  7. Locate important records concerning your SO
    - Driver license, License plate #
    - Social Security #


  1. Have a bag in the car with clothes, medications & toiletries, spare keys etc.
  2. Close all joint bank accounts, credit cards etc immediately.
  3. Make sure your mail is being re-routed to your new location.
  4. Don't tell your partner you are leaving until you are on the way to the safe place. Use a pay phone on the way, preferably not at your destination city. Do not use the telephone at the safe place as this will show on Caller ID.


  1. Stay away!
  2. Let the answering machine do the talking for you.
  3. Bring backup when you go to collect your things.
  4. Don't let yourself be alone with your SO.
  5. Police and/or Sheriff are willing go with you in nearly every city.