The Leaving Checklist is a list of things to prepare and things to consider before, during and after separating from a person who suffers from a personality disorder.
BEFORE YOU LEAVE:
- Start a private bank account in a bank that your SO doesn't use and put money in it.
- Rent a post office box and forward your mail to it.
- Have a safe place to stay, preferably where your partner won't easily find you.
- Reconnect with responsible and supportive friends and family who were pushed away during your relationship with your partner.
- Make copies of important documents that you will need:
- Bank/Credit Card records
- Telephone records
- past tax return copies, bills, financial records etc.
- educational and medical records for the children
- Put the following in a secure location:
- your credit/debit/atm cards
- wedding/birth certificates,
- photographs and family treasures that you want to keep
- Locate important records concerning your SO
- Driver license, License plate #
- Social Security #
WHEN YOU LEAVE:
- Have a bag in the car with clothes, medications & toiletries, spare keys etc.
- Close all joint bank accounts, credit cards etc immediately.
- Make sure your mail is being re-routed to your new location.
- Don't tell your partner you are leaving until you are on the way to the safe place. Use a pay phone on the way, preferably not at your destination city. Do not use the telephone at the safe place as this will show on Caller ID.
AFTER YOU LEAVE:
- Stay away!
- Let the answering machine do the talking for you.
- Bring backup when you go to collect your things.
- Don't let yourself be alone with your SO.
- Police and/or Sheriff are willing go with you in nearly every city.