It's common for people who have lived a long time in a highly charged environment with a personality-disordered individual to begin to doubt their own moral compass and their own mental health.


I'm not the crazy one... am I?

It's common for people who have lived with a personality disordered person to secretly fear that they may have some form of mental illness themselves.

Perhaps they have seen themselves mimic or copy some of the behaviors of the person they are living with (a phenomenon often referred to as getting fleas).

Perhaps they have seen their own anger at their sense of powerlessness and hopelessness occasionally boil up into acts of inappropriate violence, or verbal lashing out.

Perhaps they have seen symptoms of depression in their own lives and recognize that everything is not OK.

Perhaps they have read the criteria for various personality disorders and recognize some of their own behaviors in them.

Perhaps they have made poor choices in dealing with a personality disordered loved-one that have made life difficult.

Examples of Self Doubt

  • A Non-PD habitually apologizes for their mistakes, while not holding their partner accountable for theirs.
  • A Non-PD seeks therapy, believing that because they are not perfect, they are worthless.
  • A Non-PD seeks and sustains relationships with abusive partners, believing that they deserve poor treatment.
  • A Non-PD no longer trusts their own judgment, yet blindly accepts the opinions of strangers and people who do not know their situation well.

What NOT to do

  • Don't ignore your own judgment.
  • Don't blindly accept the words or opinions of others as "the truth".
  • Don't assume the worst about yourself.
  • Don't believe every bad thing you hear applies to you.
  • Don't allow your feelings to drown out your thoughts.