Adult Children - An adult child is a term commonly used to describe any grown adult who was exposed to emotional, physical or sexual abuse as a child.
The term "Adult Children" was first coined by self-help groups supporting the grown children of alcoholic parents. However, over the years, the term has become generalized to include all grown children who grew up in abusive homes or dysfunctional families. Therefore, the terms "adult child" or "adult children" can refer to those who grew up in a home with a personality-disordered parent.
At "Out of the FOG" we often refer to adult children asUnchosen's. Unchosen's are people who are in a family relationship with a person who suffers from a personality disorder. They are called "unchosen" because they had no choice in entering into that relationship. Unchosen's include children, parents, siblings or relatives of a person who suffers from a personality disorder.
Characteristics of Adult Children
The following 13 characteristics of adult children was created by Dr. Janet G. Woititz.in her 1983 book "Adult Children of Alcoholics".
Adult Children: -
- guess at what normal is.
- have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.
- lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
- judge themselves without mercy.
- have difficulty having fun.
- take themselves very seriously.
- have difficulty with intimate relationships.
- overreact to changes over which they have no control.
- constantly seek approval and affirmation.
- feel that they are different from other people.
- are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
- are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.
- tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control of their environment. As a result, they spend tremendous amounts of time cleaning up the mess.