The second necessary ingredient of real recovery in a personality-disordered individual is self-work.

Recovery from a personality disorder is not a sprint but a marathon. And just as it is impossible to run a marathon without putting in a lot of self-work over a long period, it is impossible for a person to recover from a personality disorder without a sustained, determined and costly personal effort.

It is impossible for one person to do the training for someone else who wants to run a marathon. Likewise, it is impossible for a non-personality-disordered individual to do the critical work on behalf of another person who is trying to recover from a personality disorder.