Prioritize Your Personal Safety

Personal Safety - Personal Safety is a list of actions that are designed to keep situations from escalating and to make sure that Physical, Emotional and Verbal abuse is avoided or stopped at the first moment it begins to happen. It contains ideas on when to stop the conversation, when to leave the room and when to call the police.

Ensuring personal safety is the first priority to deal with when trying to learn how to cope with any behaviors of people who suffer from personality disorders. You should always consider the personal safety of the following:

  1. Your Children
  2. Yourself
  3. Any Innocent bystanders
  4. The person who suffers from the personality disorder.

This may mean that you may have to occasionally be willing to do some things that might make you feel uncomfortable, break some taboos, be firm, get out of dangerous situations, call the police, do whatever is necessary to remove yourself from violence, abuse and the threat of violence and abuse.

When to politely end the conversation:

Its easy to spend a great deal of time and energy in conversations that leave you feeling hurt and accomplish little or nothing. There are very few conversations that are urgent in nature or can't be put off to a better time. Sometimes less is more and your words will have more impact if you don't repeat the same things over and over, but just say what you have to say once and then stop talking. Here are some times when it is probably best to stop a conversation to avoid getting hurt.

  • When someone violates your personal boundaries.
  • When someone verbally insults, mocks or invalidates you.
  • When someone engages in thought policing or tells you how you must think or feel.
  • When you are engaged in a circular conversation.
  • When your words are falling on deaf ears.
  • When you are engaged in a one way conversation.
  • When you are angry and at risk of taking the emotional elevator down to a less mature level.
  • When you are tired not able to engage in constructive communication.
  • When your attention is needed to take care of other responsibilities, such as children, driving, work etc..

When to leave the room or building:

  • When you feel unsafe or isolated
  • When you fear violence or abuse.
  • When a person refuses to end the conversation or refuses to leave you alone.
  • When you are being harassed.
  • When you are isolated or alone with an abusive person and there is an opportunity for social support elsewhere.

When to call the police:

Immediately. These are times to get out of the way and let the professionals do their job:

  • When someone threatens harm to themselves
  • When someone threatens to hurt you
  • When someone threatens to hurt the children
  • When someone threatens suicide
  • When someone performs any act of violence towards people or property

Refer to our Emergency Page for More Information.