The 50% Rule

The 50% Rule says that we are responsible for 50% of the things that happen in any relationship we share with a person who suffers from a personality disorder.

That is not to say that we are responsible for anyone else's behavior, words or actions. We didn't cause the personality disorders in our loved ones, their behavior or their destructive tendencies. Those are caused by a combination of their own mental illness and their own poor choices.

But in all our relationships, we are responsible for 50% of what happens. We're responsible for our own choices, our own behaviors, our own words and our own actions.

And that is why it is a good idea to stop and think about our own behavior whenever our focus tends to be predominantly on the other person's behavior.

We are responsible for 100% of the choices that wemake, the things we say and the things we do.